Painkiller
by The most beautiful of lies
Summary: What they had was absolute. No going back. Why would he even want to go back? Here in the arms of his torturer, he was truly loved. Through the pain and agony, Yuki had come to know what true love really meant...and no matter what anyone said – he wasn't letting go. He'd found his addiction. His one reason to live. His cure.


_**I do not own Painkiller by Three Days Grace...Dear One, this is a gift for you...I hope you enjoy!**_

You know you need a fix when you fall down  
>You know you need to find a way<br>To get you through another day  
>Let me be the one to numb you out<br>Let me be the one to hold you  
>Never gonna let you get away<p>

As quietly as he could, Yuki slid the door to the outside open. The cool night greeted him, offering the darkness he needed to successfully not get caught. As he slid the door shut behind him, making sure it was locked behind him, he could feel instant relief. He'd made it without getting caught...almost. On silent feet, he worked his way so he was just barely peeking over the edge, looking for Kyo perched in his usual spot on the roof. Bile rose up in his throat as he remembered. Kyo and Tohru were having 'alone time' together. It was their date night...yet another reason Yuki felt such a strong desire to leave and go to _Him_.

The shoulder you cry on  
>The dose that you die on<p>

The late night walks to the main house always seemed to calm him down. Clear his head and help him focus. In focusing, came the thinking...in thinking came the pain. That first night he and Shigure had seen Tohru walking through their woods, he could remember thinking for a moment that she was an ethereal beauty, here to steal him away from this world. A bitter laugh escaped him at the conclusion of the memory. She was just some girl living in a tent on Sohma land. Still though...they followed her...and in the light of the moon when she looked up at them, the surprise on her face...the beauty...was enough to strike him speechless. Even now, just thinking about it, he could feel his breath hitch.

I, I can be your painkiller, killer, killer  
>You'll love me 'til it's all over, over<br>'Cause I'm the shoulder you cry on  
>The dose that you die on<br>I, I can be your painkiller, killer, killer 

He'd found a solution in the most unlikely of places. The place where when he thought of comfort was so far from his mind, it wasn't even worth the thought. The main house. Yuki had first gone there when Tohru and Kyo announced they were dating. Despite the curse, the two had loved each other and were going to make it work. Now that the curse was over it left them open to more...possibilities. Ones that Yuki did not care to think about let alone know about. But he had a good imagination and could guess. Every time they had a date, it usually started with the two cooking. Just watching their puppy love...Kyo getting mad and Tohru sting her hand against his chest, silently calming – it was laughable! It was disgusting. Wrong.

It was supposed to be Yuki at Tohru's side as she cooked! His chest her hand was on in silent comfort! His lips she kissed! Arms she cried in when she was sad, afraid, hurt or scared! His ring should be resting safely on her finger...instead he was forced to seek his comforts in more darker corners...so he chose the darkest of them all. The most lethal...the most fun. At least with Akito – though it be twisted and deformed with a touch of insanity – he was still loved. Holey and completely, no questions asked.

The shoulder you cry on  
>The dose that you die on<p>

The first time he'd shown up, Hatori had stopped him in the hallway and asked what the hell he was doing there. Told him to go home. Not bothering to speak to his older cousin, he walked right passed him. Ignored the please for him to turn around and just go home. The promise to drive him. The threats that if he walked through that door, Hatori would not be able to protect him. Yuki ignored them all...he need Akito...he needed his fix...

I, I can be your painkiller, killer, killer  
>You'll love me 'til it's all over, over<br>'Cause I'm the shoulder you cry on  
>The dose that you die on<br>I, I can be your painkiller, killer, killer 

Stepping in the room, he felt instant relief. As the chill air of the darkened room embraced him...as the form rose from the bed and slowly adjusted the robes, Yuki could feel all his feeling wash away. He was numb and immobile. Unable to stop the shadowy figure as Akito wrapped his arms around Yuki's waist, the under hand sliding ever so lightly over his stomach, to clench his shirt above his heart. Adrenaline raced through him as bitter laughter escaped Akito, shaking his thin frame. Like a mouse trapped in the claws of the cat, knowing it's fate, Yuki allowed himself to be roughly pushed up against the wall. Welcomed the shivers as Akito whispered in his ear, with a voice long dead.

"You are mine now, Yuki. I alone am your reason for living."

Did you find me another cure?  
>Did you find me another cure?<p>

So trapped and helpless, he didn't even realize, Yuki agreed wholeheartedly. This was his only means of escape. His cure from the curse and it's agonies and injustices...even if it was for a moment in time, forced to keep a secret for fear some one could take it away from him. From them. What they had, in Yuki's mind, was beautiful and freeing.

I, I can be your painkiller, killer, killer  
>You'll love me 'til it's all over, over<br>'Cause I'm the shoulder you cry on  
>The dose that you die on<br>I, I can be your painkiller, killer, killer  
>Painkiller<p>

What they had was absolute. No going back. Why would he even want to go back? Here in the arms of his torturer, he was truly loved. Through the pain and agony, Yuki had come to know what true love really meant...and no matter what anyone said – he wasn't letting go. He'd found his addiction. His one reason to live. His cure.


End file.
